Updates are needed. 

Mom and dad were here last weekend and the weekend before that for parent's weekend. There are no words to describe the joy and happiness I felt being with them. We hung out with Aaron and Hannah also which was very nice. Amanda and Lanny felt left out so they came down for a one night visit. During one car ride the whole original Zimm fam was together and we all joked together and were the family I grew up with. I love all the additions to our family, but it felt wonderful to just be with the people who I've lived with all my life. 

Mom and dad went to Madison for the week then and I just had school. Nothing really to report. I know. I'm so exciting aren't I? I did have a really fun week though. Saw the midnight showing of SAW V, rain (at least) 6 blocks in the cold cold rain, went to a comedy theatre club place and saw Found Film Festival - these two guys gather old 80's/90's movies (exercise, christmas time, christian shows for kids, harassment work videos, etc) from Salvation Army and the like and make montages that are hilarious. So actually, it was the most eventful week I've had in awhile haha.

Then mom and dad came back on Sunday and I had to say goodbye ;[. I spent the rest of the day with Aaron and Hannah and had a great time. I really need to hang out with them more than just the weekends. 

My roommate Caitlyn is my least favorite person right now. I would go into detail but the best way I can describe her is : OVER DRAMATIC. She flipped out about a few of her things being knocked over while she was away this weekend. It happened on accident by my friend Andy and he apologized to her and asked to help. All it was was some of her jewelry on our floor and a pair of her ridiculously expensive Jordan sneakers fell onto her bed. Her BED. A soft bed. I can understand someone getting upset because that does suck but he blew a fuze, told him she was going to slit his throat for destroying her room, and won't talk to him or even look at him. She was also really angry at all the rest of us girls. Why? Some pistachio shells were laying by the trash can and she said "why was it not Jamie's first priority to clean that up when she woke up this morning!?" I could go into a long speech, but it isn't worth my time. She is nuts. That was two days ago. She seems to have mellowed out some towards us but not to Andy. He was talking to me on my bed last night and she came in and didn't say a word and crawled under her blankets with her ipod on. Okayyyyy, whatever!

The weather is getting freezing already. Snow was in the forecast for yesterday, though I saw none. It is currently 38 degrees outside. Jeeeeez. Fall didn't really happen here. Trees got a weird yellow color and I saw maybe two red trees. What a disappointment. I've always looked forward to living in the fall and I got nothing. Oh well. Better luck next year!

One of our best friends from home is coming up tomorrow for 8 days! He is currently my desktop background. Obviously I am excited. :D

I need to write an outline, eat, take pictures, go to class, go to midterm meeting, then darkroom all night. And I need to figure out my idea for my final portfolio for photography tonight. Goodness gracious. 

For now I will finish watching a movie I fell asleep to last night because staying under my blankets sounds way more pleasing then beginning my day. I will regret this later.

Distractions = Satisfactions

I can't seem to get in the swing of things still. There is always something blocking my mind from doing my work:

Ashley came up and surprised us on her fall break. She stayed for 5 days. It was wonderful having a piece of home here. And it was so great that things weren't awkward with her after being apart for 2 months. It was a secure feeling. 

Josh and I are on thin ice again. He, as always, doesn't seem to always understand things. I don't want to go into detail, but I really need some good energy thrown my way. I'm pretty sure it would be best for us both to separate, but that statement is so much easier written down. Despite the differences and difficulties, we still both care for each other immensely. And I know we both don't want to lose our friendship, either. It is all so confusing and heart breaking. Love sucks. 

I am getting over a stye in my eye. My first one ever. Only lasted 2 days. It was pretty painful but not as bad as people made it seem. Still, it was an inconvenience. 

I'm doubting my abilities as a photographer. I can't seem to find inspiration therefore my work is really lacking depth. I procrastinate, complain, and hurry. I'm feeling very indifferent about darkroom too. I hate spending so much money on film and paper and I hate being around so many chemicals constantly. But I love the solitude it offers. Spending 4 hours only getting 2 prints, though, sucks. I want to do digital. I think. I don't know!!! But I am definitely not liking any of my work. Today, however, was the first day my darkroom teacher said "I really like this photo" to me. I've been dying for his approval because it isn't easily given. I thanked him and walked back in the darkroom to fix the print with the hugest smile on my face while "Chicago" by Sufjan Stevens came on my ipod (which if you do not know I highly suggest listening to). It was the best moment ever. It revived me a little. My goal now is to look up tons of photographers and see what inspires me and experiment experiment! I just wish experimenting wasn't so risky with film.

My parents are coming in two days! Nothing has ever sounded so sweet and wonderful. Then Nate comes next weekend. 3 weekend visits in a row! October is the best month.

Monday I turn 19. 19? Doesn't that sound so unpleasant? My last year as a teenager. What an awkward year. 18 was a big fun year and 20 will be exciting, but 19? I'm not very thrilled.

I've got class in an hour. Couldn't I just stay home and nap all day? Curl up in my blankets and watch the sun set? No. I've got class and tons of cleaning to do. And homework in 2-d design and darkroom which requires me to not be at home. Which in essence means I'm totally going to blow it off. until this weekend but I won't even have time this weekend because I will be with my parents! :] Am I complaining? No. Will my grades? ..... Yes. Do I care right now? Well, maybe I shouldn't post that answer. After all, the people paying for my education are reading this...... Don't worry. I'll get it done eventually! ..... :D

Worry.

I know my dad will be okay. I know the signs are all clear.

But there is still a problem. 

And I am so far away from home.

I can't get my work done tonight.

How am I supposed to write an essay about home? 

=/.