Swing of things.

Things are going well. I've met some cool people and done some very fun things but the whole realization still has not hit me yet. I keep having bursts of missing my friends and being sick of trying so hard to impress new people, needing hugs and love from my parents, having the desire to see ghoti's barely visible smile and feel the warmth and comfort of my bed. I'm almost ready to just come home and call it quits. But, I know once school starts things will begin to make more sense and things will fall into place. I hope. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE it here. This is such an amazing exciting city. And the people I have met I genuinely like. And my school events have been unbelievably awesome. But its not my home yet. It isn't fully comfortable yet. I'm so glad I have Josh, Jamie, Thayer and Dave though. Having them makes it feel more like home. They are pretty much the only people I hang out with. Partly because we don't have many other friends yet and partly because I don't want us to fall apart when we do meet new people. I love these kids, even Dave who I didn't like much before I left. I love them all and I would be awful without them right now. 

I'm excited for school to start but I'm so nervous. Am I going to make it? Oh yes I am having those normal doubts and fears. I'm a freshman in college. Catch me a break. I know the encouraging words and I cherish their imprint in my brain. Nonetheless, I'm freaked out. 

I'm just ready to get into the swing of things. 

Settling in.

I am officially on my own. Leaving my parents was so much harder than I thought but it hasn't even fully hit. Last night I became so anxious every so often thinking about not being able to run to them when I need them. This is going to be hard, but I guess I have to do it.

Growing up is bittersweet.

On the sweet end I've been having a blast. I'm so glad I have Jamie, Thayer and Josh here though or else I'd feel so alone. My roommate Caitlyn is the biggest sweet heart ever, but she is one busy girl. She is constantly on the go. Our appartment is huge. Its HUGE. And I absolutely adore my room. I'll post pictures at the end. Because, of course, I have the best parents in the world and I have a new camera already. Not only a camera, an upgraded version of my camera. I now own a Nikon D60. It is amazing.

We're trying to meet new people as best as we can. Last night around 11 Jamie asked this guy Lucas she met at orientation to meet up with us and bring some people. Then when we were leaving our room we noticed down the hall this room with its door open and music playing so we thought we should go say hi. Only one guy was there, Tom, and we invited him to come hang out with us. He is so nice. On our way down we met up with his roommate and friend and we developed a large group. We then all met and talked outside for awhile until we decided to go down to the lake. The walk was so nice, the breeze was so crisp and then the talks by the lake were fantastic. I really like it here. I think its going to work out. 

Thank god we have this week of falling into place before we actually start school. Tomorrow is my photography connection meeting. I'm excited. 

I'm a college kid. What!?!?!

Here is a link to the pictures of our place I posted on facebook. If it doesn't work, let me know. 

Pictures!

Welcome to Chicago.

i got on a plane today. my final plane.

i teared up leaving sarasota.

then i started getting so excited.

i landed. i was full of smiles.

i went to get my luggage.

my camera was gone.

we left it on the plane.

we did everything we could.

nothing.

its gone.

some asshole took it.

some asshole took camera full of my last pictures with my friends (which i had yet to put on my computer) and peace pins.

some asshole is carrying around my camera and not feeling guilty.

i've just barely stopped crying.

i feel so used and alone.

and i already have negative feelings for this city.

what was supposed to be one of the best moments ever was so far from it.

i'm trying to get positive, but its hard.

yes i will get another camera. yes i will move on.

but not even an hour into my new life i lost my reason for coming.

this is not fair.

The bad is out weighing the good.

I leave Friday morning.

I've said almost all my goodbyes to the friends that have made me who I am.

It has been one of the most difficult things I've ever done.

Am I doing the right thing going so far away?

Right now, the bad is out weighing the good.

"I wanna call it off.

You hear me?

I WANNA CALL IT OFF."

My last weeks in SRQ.

I'm nearing the end here in my hometown. It is really starting to freak me out. But, the excitement is becoming overwhelming. Dispite my excitement, I am in complete denial that I have 2 weeks left and am spending them doing the exact opposite thing I should be doing- nothing. I need to be packing, hanging out with friends and my parents, having fun, going to the beach, laughing constantly, hugging everyone, and going to the gym for that perfect Chicago body. No. I'm doing nothing. I'm staying up all night alone, sleeping in until noon or later and then sitting all day with my macbook on my lap. Oh yes, I am in denial. And yes, I am scared out of my mind. My mind? In my mind I've got 2 months left still. 

This all has happened so fast. I don't know quite how to breathe. 

I'm so ready to start new. But I'm not ready to say goodbye.